Cryin' like a baby
by trace93
Summary: Riggs' and Streets' thoughts on their trip to NYC. Through FNL 3.8.


**AN: Riggs' and Streets' thoughts during their trip to New York. Spoilers: through FNL 3.8. These characters are not mine.**

Okay, I have a confession. I cried like a baby. Twice in three days.

In New York (which was awesome), Street and I got pretty good seats to Gypsy—handicap. Sittin' there watchin' Patti Lupone belt her heart out, I felt my eyes well up. Naturally from her story, the sacrifices she'd made, wanting her girls to succeed at any cost, and so on. But out of the corner of my eye, I saw Street watching the way he does—in awe, with a little smile, and I got all sad. That face has kept me going through many a tough spot.

In two days, if all went well, I might not see him for a very long time. That his whole foreseeable future might be locked into place if the plan–MY plan–came together. Sure, there were lots of reasons it might not, but if there's one thing Street taught me, it's to keep the faith. Six might get the storybook ending that seemed ridiculous a month ago, and I'd go back to Dillon without my best friend. I was gonna miss the hell out of him.

So with all those thoughts roiling in my head, I watched Momma Rose pour out her emotions and I used them as an excuse to let the tears roll.

-/-/-/-/-

_I have to say, sitting in that Broadway theater with Riggs was bizarre. Did I ever know Mr. Macho Man had a soft spot for Broadway? C'mon. Even if it involves strippers. When he suggested it, I thought he was kidding. And it was the last thing I had thought to do, being all upset, naïve that I was in thinking I could just snap my fingers and get a job. That everything'd be hunky dory._

_But you know what? Riggs is way smarter than most folks give him credit for, always has been. So right then, as we're in Times Square clogging up the sidewalk at rush hour, he simultaneously tells me what I should do about my job and family prospects, and then suggests Gypsy. I could only laugh in admiration._

_Gypsy was exactly the right thing to do. I laughed and cried about someone else's ups and downs, and not just my own. And I'm pretty sure I saw Riggs shedding a tear or two in the big scenes. You know, he's a big softy, despite all that swagger. A big softy. God, I'll miss him. I hope things go well for him; I've always been around to lend a hand when he needed one. And sometimes, vice versa. Oh right, Lyla's there for him. Riggins, Garrity, Street. What a crazy history._

-/-/-/-

Okay, I got that Rose was a smothering stage mom, but it also made me real sad, thinkin' how I never really had a mom, or dad, who gave a crap about me. How would I have turned out differently if I had parents, like the Taylors? I might be on par with Street achievement wise, with full scholarship offers from top schools. I'll never know. Or what if I had smothering parents, like JD? Probly wouldn't have been good with my somewhat rebellious personality. But I can't help thinking if that same personality drove my parents away. A day doesn't go by when I don't somehow blame myself for that. That is not good for a kid to feel.

But in Gyspy, when Louise started getting' good with the burlesque and she transformed from a wallflower into this killer stripper, I thought, maybe I can do that. Maybe I can be what nobody's ever expected. Maybe I'll have no regrets, but in a good way. People can change. And with Garrity kinda keepin' tabs on me, I feel pretty much okay that things'll work out.

-/-/-/

_That night when we were lying in our beds in our tiny hotel room after our big night on the town, after hitting an Irish pub on the way to the hotel, Riggs said, in his drawl, "Six?" Long silence. "I love you man." And I smiled to myself, and after another long pause, he said, "And I'm pregnant." Well, I snarfed out a laugh, and we were close enough to bump fists. "Brokeback lives," I said. And then he gave me that look, that patented Riggins look, when you don't know whether he's gonna hug you or hit you. We looked at each other a long time. I watched Tim fall asleep. He had a little smile on his face._

_I thought about how Riggs has made that joke about being pregnant a lot lately. He did again on the way to New Jersey. Maybe some kinda jealousy thing about Noah. Actually, it wouldn't surprise me if he wants to have kids in the near future, and show them everything his parents did wrong. He's gonna be a good dad, I know it._

-/-/-/-

I was dreading when we got to Erin's parents' house. I hate goodbyes more than just about anything. To me, it's not just, "see you later." It's, "have a good life." It means "live with your older brother who doesn't want to take care of you, and shouldn't have to… learn to cook your own dinner and do your own laundry," at ten years old.

After we did our "Texas forever" thing, and I wept like a bridesmaid, he and Erin were talking. He took Noah and then after a few moments, Erin accepted him and his plan. I could see her body language sayin' she was all in. At that moment, my lifelong best friend turned into her best friend. She looked at me as if she understood this, and while I hardly knew her at all, we connected deep right then.

I cried all the way to the airport, in the waiting area, and on the plane home. My eyes finally dried about over Kentucky.

-/-/-/-

_Man, never been both so nervous, or as totally committed to something, as I was when I finally saw Erin and Noah to tell them my plan. I guess it is part of my makeup, to be able to convince people to do things—half my strength as a QB. Maybe more. I just wouldn't take no for an answer, and then I had a plan B if the answer was possibly no. But she said yes._

_It's gonna happen. We're gonna be a family._

_Then I peeked at Riggs leaning next to the taxi. Man, I've never seen him like that. It wrenched my gut thinkin' I was leaving him, after so many years as a team. Right then, he looked like the kid I first saw at school, all alone on the playground. I cried from happiness, but also sadness, that it'd be awhile before I saw Timmy again. Maybe a long time._

_Lyla, please take care of him for me._


End file.
